Shine in a Different Light
by Meatball42
Summary: One night in December, Shawn suddenly realizes what he's gotten himself into. Written for an 'itchy feet' wish fill. Shassie.


Author's Note: Written for the LiveJournal community advent challenge and as a wish fill on the LJ comm insmallpackages for the prompt "Shawn's itchy feet get the best of him for one reason or the other, and he takes off on his bike, but this time, Lassiter goes after him. Shawn/Lassiter."

[*]

It was almost funny the way it didn't hit him until just that moment. Shawn stepped inside Carlton's apartment, which was dimly lit by the lights on the tree. He juggled with his bike helmet in one hand and a shopping bag in the other, nudged the door closed with his foot, and froze.

It wasn't just the Christmas tree. That had been there for three weeks, because Lassie'd been concerned that with their heavy workloads they wouldn't have time to decorate it if they'd put it off any longer. They'd taken the afternoon off, turned off their cell phones and Carlton's pager and unpacked their Christmas decorations. Shawn's were from all over the world, weird trinkets he'd picked up on his travels that had been adapted so they could hang from a tree. Lassie's were family heirlooms and stupid dinky glass baubles that were gifts from well-intentioned but distant colleagues. They'd put everything on the tree, scattered tinsel and needles all over the place, gotten drunk on eggnog and fallen asleep on the couch in front of the television.

It wasn't just the Christmas tree. It was the peaceful, quiet glow that made Shawn see himself in a new light.

He was carrying the motorcycle helmet because Carlton had turned red in the face shouting at him after he'd nearly had an accident without it. The bag he was holding was from a chocolate shop where Shawn had just bought his boyfriend's favorite truffles— even though he hated the taste himself and they were about three times as expensive as they should be. He'd been able to get into Carlton's apartment because he'd been given a key.

This wasn't Lassiter's apartment anymore. It was 'Shawn and Carlton's apartment'.

Shawn had slammed the door and was halfway down the front steps before the helmet and truffles even hit the floor.

[*]

Lassiter slid his key into the lock, jiggling it for a moment and swearing when it didn't turn. Reminding himself to stay calm, he slid the key out of the lock and jiggled the knob as though that would loosen the gears. To his surprise, the door opened easily.

He stepped inside and began to smirk. "Shawn! I know you're in here. If you wanted to trick me you shouldn't have left the door unlocked."

At the continued silence, Lassiter rolled his eyes and stepped around the door. He stopped when his foot hit something that slid across the floor. He bent down and reached out blindly, eyes not yet used to the dimness of the room.

It was Shawn's helmet. And behind it was a shopping bag, and a box of truffles fallen a few feet away.

Lassiter stormed out of the apartment, hand already clenching unconsciously in the shape of his gun's grip.

[*]

He didn't know how long he'd been there when Carlton found him. He didn't look at his boyfriend, though, didn't look away from the view of the moon over the Pacific through the last edges of the forest.

Carlton slowed as he approached the boulder where Shawn was sitting. Shawn could hear his breathing, heavy and fast even though he'd arrived in his Crown Victoria.

"You scared the hell outta me Spencer!"

"How'd you find me?"

"After I called the station and got an APB put out on you, I woke up your father and Guster to help me look. Guster told me to look here."

Shawn nodded. "You'd better call off the APB."

"Are you going to tell me why you disappeared like that?" Carlton shouted.

Shawn didn't answer. After several moments, Carlton swore viciously and walked away, pulling out his cell.

A few minutes later, he returned. He sat heavily next to Shawn, holding his head and face tightly in his hands. Shawn felt a pang of guilt for the first time that night at his boyfriend's exhausted posture.

"When I saw everything on the floor like that, the door unlocked, your motorcycle gone but the helmet still there…" He shook his head and took a shaky breath. "You've made a lot of enemies, Shawn, we both have. Anything could have happened to you."

"I'm fine," Shawn said vaguely. From the corner of his eye, he could see Carlton staring at him.

"Don't give me that. I may not understand all your 'psychic vibes' or premonitions or whatever, but I am a damn good cop and I can tell when someone is lying to me."

"I'm not hurt. No one kidnapped me… I'm sorry I made you think that."

"Then what the hell happened, Shawn?" Carlton asked again. His voice was almost pleading, though he'd never admit it.

"I just… I freaked out. I ran, just like I always do."

They sat in silence for a long time. Shawn wouldn't have been surprised if it was the longest he'd sat with Carlton without speaking, though Lassie was definitely the more laconic in their relationship. He continued to watch the silver, shimmering water as it pulsed against the pale sand.

"Your dad said you'd probably left me," Carlton said at last. "Said it would be just like you to run away at Christmas. It would be too serious for you."

Shawn didn't answer. The waves didn't get any quieter, but the silence seemed louder anyway.

"Shawn?" Carlton whispered.

He turned. Lassie's blue eyes were bright in the moonlight, pupils dilated. His hair was perfectly in place as always, but his suit and tie were rumpled. Carlton didn't ask the question, but while the psychic part was admittedly misleading, Shawn wasn't a detective for nothing.

"I'm here, aren't I?" he pointed out. "I'm still in Santa Barbara. I didn't run any farther."

"Your dad— he _hugged_ me. He apologized for you."

"When I left Santa Barbara years ago I didn't have you." Shawn didn't look away from Carlton's wide eyes. "I couldn't do it this time."

Carlton moved forward and hugged him tight enough to impair his breathing. Shawn held him back just as tight. Yes, this relationship was scary and way too serious, but it was also funny and comfortable and wacky and worth it. He'd found someone he couldn't run away from.


End file.
